So here are a few theories I've been working on and thought should share. This will probably be an on going post as new brilliance is created XP
The Neon Sign Theory
When you are single no one is interested but the second you have a significant other than the entire world finds the need to hit on you as if there is a big neon sign above your head that reads "I'm taken please tempt me!"
...Of Childhood Dreams
I truly believe that everyone as they're growing up should have an unrealistic dream and a realistic one. The unrealistic one that is for filled giving the person the idea that good things can happen to good people. Than the realistic one that is utterly shattered so that the person knows that shit can happen. This would bring about a perfect balance of optimism and pessimism, proving that miracles can happen with your help. "Fates got a lot to do, sometimes you must give her a hand"
The Equation of Life
A + B does not equal B + A
Therefore
A + C = (C + A) / B
Think about it. It makes perfect sense in terms of life.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
What's With Whitey?
OK I have been given full permission by my fully white friend to say all of the following, mainly because it's all true and party because she is exempt from it.
Why do white people always have cold hands? I don't know a single white person, that when I shake their hand I don't shiver.
Next, why in gods name do white people wash dishes with the yellow side of the sponge? There is a green abrasive side for a reason!
Why do white people put ketchup on EVERYTHING? Ketchup does not go on rice. It does not go on mac and cheese. It only goes on fries and sometimes burgers but nothing else! You need to stop putting concentrated corn syrup on prime rib, you are ruining it!
Why do white people prove southern stereo types true? Lay off the random explosives, incest, and obtuse right wing religious views. It will make the world a better place. And on that note, "If Jesus were alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time: His ideas are just too liberal." Kurt Vonngeut.
And this blog is tbc...
Why do white people always have cold hands? I don't know a single white person, that when I shake their hand I don't shiver.
Next, why in gods name do white people wash dishes with the yellow side of the sponge? There is a green abrasive side for a reason!
Why do white people put ketchup on EVERYTHING? Ketchup does not go on rice. It does not go on mac and cheese. It only goes on fries and sometimes burgers but nothing else! You need to stop putting concentrated corn syrup on prime rib, you are ruining it!
Why do white people prove southern stereo types true? Lay off the random explosives, incest, and obtuse right wing religious views. It will make the world a better place. And on that note, "If Jesus were alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time: His ideas are just too liberal." Kurt Vonngeut.
And this blog is tbc...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Some People Should Just Be Sterilized
I am sick of bad parenting. Watch your goddamn kids! I see 4 year children running around, getting hurt and lost at Disneyland all day long - EVERY DAY. There are these kind of neglectful parents who just pay attention their children, then there are the angry parents who get pissed for no real reason. Seriously, if they are saying things like "You little asshole you broke the mother fucking light saber!" (when in fact they just turned it off) in public - what sort of things do they say or do in private?
Why are there genuinely good people out there who can't, physically can not, have children and who actually want them when there are dicks who accidentally have kids everyday? I prefer the Kurt Vonnegut "Welcome to the Monkey House" approach in that you have to make the extra effort to have kids so that people who don't want them or are unsuited to take care of them wont have them. That would solve so many problems! Reduced population, goodbye orphanages, less work for CPS, smaller schools and the economic boosts that come with all that.
Think about it. You all know someone who should not have been allowed to be a parent. Genetic donor - maybe, but actual parent? No.
Why are there genuinely good people out there who can't, physically can not, have children and who actually want them when there are dicks who accidentally have kids everyday? I prefer the Kurt Vonnegut "Welcome to the Monkey House" approach in that you have to make the extra effort to have kids so that people who don't want them or are unsuited to take care of them wont have them. That would solve so many problems! Reduced population, goodbye orphanages, less work for CPS, smaller schools and the economic boosts that come with all that.
Think about it. You all know someone who should not have been allowed to be a parent. Genetic donor - maybe, but actual parent? No.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Fuck Twilight
I am sick and tired of people talking about The Twilight series as if it the Jesus Christ of modern fiction. FICTION not Literature. Literature is an earned title, one which a work should receive only when the quality of writing is exceptional and not the quantity of readers.
This book is OK at best. One that I started reading thinking that it was "Anne Rice For Dummies" but once I had finished this horrible excuse for a novel (because it is no way novel in and of itself) I found myself thinking of it more as the "Epitome of Every Thing I Hated About High School". It is a tacky, pseudo-intellectual, poorly edited piece of overrated, underwhelming crap that has managed to obtain a following of desperate to be loved lemmings wanting so badly to believe that the are a "Bella" in hopes that someone someday will love them as much as they hate themselves and take them away into a world of immortal bliss. Guess what kids? IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Well not unless you put down the fucking book and go out there and look for it. Sorry to murder your dream that "Edward" may sweep you off your feet but it's not going to happen that way. And honest would you want it to? Think about it seriously for a minute. Would you really want someone who inexplicably loves you and was only even attracted to you because he wanted to eat you in the least sexual or satisfying way? Or would you rather have someone who feels a deep connection to you because of common ground and is sane enough to do what he knows is right and not say one thing and do another over and over again in every goddamn book until any and all promises are meaningless because you are a douche bag who convinces him to laps in his judgement and he is a dumb ass for letting you.
Which brings me to my next point on why this trite story is nowhere near worth the praise it is getting. There is hardly any character development. This series should get an award for managing to have 4 several hundred paged books told in first person and still have little to no character development. Every player in this work is either ridiculously flat or recockulously static. The total an utter inconsistency is more annoying than words can possibly describe. The authors missuse of words makes me think that she sat there with a thesaurus so she wouldn't have to use the same word over and over again making her sound both repetitive and stupid. Her lack of proper grammar in a formal, published work and structural errors pisses me off to no end. And finally, the moment where she tries to talk about what she does not know and fails miserably. Namely, when she brought the genetic question during the forth book- which was completely unnecessary - without doing the proper research to back it up. Her chromosome explanation for the different species is completely nonsensical. And besides the fact that there are several legends of half vampires called dhampires with the situation she provides, there is no way that her half vampires can reproduce which conflicts with the werewolf imprinting theory she presents.
Now I must close off this rant. Just know that there is not enough time and not enough words to adequately states my loath for this mediocre pop culture obsession for which parts of the left brain must either be missing or removed to true appreciate.
This book is OK at best. One that I started reading thinking that it was "Anne Rice For Dummies" but once I had finished this horrible excuse for a novel (because it is no way novel in and of itself) I found myself thinking of it more as the "Epitome of Every Thing I Hated About High School". It is a tacky, pseudo-intellectual, poorly edited piece of overrated, underwhelming crap that has managed to obtain a following of desperate to be loved lemmings wanting so badly to believe that the are a "Bella" in hopes that someone someday will love them as much as they hate themselves and take them away into a world of immortal bliss. Guess what kids? IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! Well not unless you put down the fucking book and go out there and look for it. Sorry to murder your dream that "Edward" may sweep you off your feet but it's not going to happen that way. And honest would you want it to? Think about it seriously for a minute. Would you really want someone who inexplicably loves you and was only even attracted to you because he wanted to eat you in the least sexual or satisfying way? Or would you rather have someone who feels a deep connection to you because of common ground and is sane enough to do what he knows is right and not say one thing and do another over and over again in every goddamn book until any and all promises are meaningless because you are a douche bag who convinces him to laps in his judgement and he is a dumb ass for letting you.
Which brings me to my next point on why this trite story is nowhere near worth the praise it is getting. There is hardly any character development. This series should get an award for managing to have 4 several hundred paged books told in first person and still have little to no character development. Every player in this work is either ridiculously flat or recockulously static. The total an utter inconsistency is more annoying than words can possibly describe. The authors missuse of words makes me think that she sat there with a thesaurus so she wouldn't have to use the same word over and over again making her sound both repetitive and stupid. Her lack of proper grammar in a formal, published work and structural errors pisses me off to no end. And finally, the moment where she tries to talk about what she does not know and fails miserably. Namely, when she brought the genetic question during the forth book- which was completely unnecessary - without doing the proper research to back it up. Her chromosome explanation for the different species is completely nonsensical. And besides the fact that there are several legends of half vampires called dhampires with the situation she provides, there is no way that her half vampires can reproduce which conflicts with the werewolf imprinting theory she presents.
Now I must close off this rant. Just know that there is not enough time and not enough words to adequately states my loath for this mediocre pop culture obsession for which parts of the left brain must either be missing or removed to true appreciate.
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